I just dont get it.
Have you ever think that everything you do in your life, there'll be no one there to appreciate it nor thank you for it. Instead, they blame you for everything you've done for now, past or even present. I may be harmful for some people, but is it so bad? I am trying my best to make myself stronger to get through life as I live my everyday life. It was tough to stand still and block all those shits that you doesnt even wanna get close to. Sometimes I need my own space and time, I need people to listen to all my shits, I need understanding and reliable people besides me, was it too much to ask? If you cant be there, if you cant be around me, dont bother to even try. It doesnt matter who you are, where you are, it ain't count a shit.
I talked too much, yes I do notice that. I may talk bad about people sometimes but that doesnt mean that I think I'm the coolest, I'm the best, better than anyone else. No. Sometimes whatever came out from my mouth was something that I was thinking about, my opinion on things. Please dont get me wrong, it's just an opinion of mine to share with someone. I really do love to talk, whether it's a shits stuff or good stuff. Just say it to my face if you hate whatever you listen from me. I'll stop.
There was times when I talked to myself.
You call me crazy? Fuck you.
I dont need the two-face-shit-crap beside me. Just go away and never come back. People always judge me by my looks, my works, my attitude. HERE, go fuck yourself you fucking morons. My life, I have the rights to do what I want, say what I want.
I care for everyone I loved more than they think they know.
Mama,
I've given you the worst treat ever sometimes. But I'll risk my life saving you from all the danger that's gonna harm you. I love you the most that there's no one else could ever replace you. I may be rude to you at times, but somehow deep inside it got me so down thinking what the hell I've said to you, what the hell I've done to you. I hate seeing you cry when your down. Your tears are so priceless to me. I am thankful for having a mother like you. You gave me all the luxurious and love in the world that I could never ever repay you. You once told me that the only you want to see is that I can achieve the better life especially with my studies. That is what I am doing right now. Thank you for taking care of me all this while and I love you so much til the very last breath.
Should I talk about anyone else?
Nahhh ... it doesnt matter anymore.
No one cares. So do I. (:
For everyone that is so busy body reading this, you appreciate me, you treat me good, I'll give you double afford on taking care of you. I'll give everyone I could afford to give, I'll be there whenever you need me, I'll cry with you when you cry, I'll stand by yourside when you feel like your alone. To those I hate, blame me if I'm wrong, I dont give a fucking shit at all. I hated you. That's all it matters. Who the fuck you think you are to make me like you? I have the rights to hate people. Whatever. You think your so fucking good than me? Who gives a shit? You do! So say it to yourself you fucking asshole.
You think you can do better than me?
Yea yea ... Go ahead dude. Your just a cheap-talking-shit kinda person.
You think I wont survive?
I will try my best to survive, but I am fucking sure that I doesnt need you to be there with me. Go screw yourself and dont ever think to come near me.
Well ... well ... well ... I know that I'm living in a luxurious life with my parents money. So? Does it bothers you that your parents cant do that? Wow. Fuck off. So what if I'm not working? So what if all my things were paid by my parents? This is the path that I choose and they believe in me, I dont give a fucking shit about you and your thoughts. Keep it to your lonely pityful fucking life.
Dont tell me what attracts you. I DONT GIVE A SHIT. You love the same thing with me? Dont you ever use it as a topic with me. It annoys me more than anything else. Dont ever try to teach me whats good and whats not. I'll learn myself.
I hate your fucking face, fucking name, fucking smell, fucking body, fucking life. I just simply hate you. YES. I fucking hate you. Who am I talking to? NO ONE. Not you, you, you or even you. I'm just talking to someone who hates me. LOL.
I'll be quiet now. I wont talk craps anymore. I promise.
From now on ...
I'm just gonna talk to myself.
Thank you and goodnight.
